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There are times in life when we must speak up for ourselves and what we need. If in active addiction or entering recovery, this is one of those times. You must be willing to ask for help and accept it if offered. Recovery is not something you should undertake alone, the recovery support of others is very important. This is obviously not the only time in life when you may need to speak up, but it is an important one. Recovery usually means emotions are running high as things can seem to all be changing at once. How you speak up during times like these can determine how seriously people take you. The remainder of this article will help you learn to speak up in the right way so your point of view and needs can be heard.

The first step is to not try to force people into seeing want you want them to see, but instead find a way for them to see it. Being forceful with people will turn them off an idea faster than finding a way for them to see it in a better light. Another way to think of this is to be a revolutionary, not a warrior. Even though you may be fighting for your idea or point of view, it is not a good idea to enter any conversation with guns blazing. Think about it would you rather someone ask to borrow your car or tell you they are taking your car no matter what?

Compose your statements appropriately. Use the following ideas. Speak for yourself. Use ‘I” when you state your point of view and suggest action, summarize your backstory to show reasoning, explain what led you to this moment, describe the desired outcome, declare your expectations, and compromise only what you are comfortable with at that time. Each of these will be explained in further detail below.

Speaking for yourself and using I statements is very important. This is your idea so use your own words and speak from the heart. Use statements like ‘I would like to do…’ or ‘I would like to see xyz happen’.  Being yourself will sell your idea and points more quickly than trying to force an idea on someone.

Next summarize your backstory and explain what led you to this moment. If you have made the decision to go into recovery and are sharing this with others, explain what point made you realize this is what you needed. In addition you need to declare your expectations. You need to make it clear both what you are willing to do and what you will expect of others. This should be as clearly thought out as every part of your conversation. Once your idea is presented it is likely that what you have proposed will meet with some hesitation. People may want you to compromise in some areas. Stand up for your ideas, but if there is an area you are willing to compromise on, then know how far you will take that compromise.

This method allows you to stand up for and present your wants, needs, and ideas in a way that people will consider what you are saying and take the idea into consideration. Some people may want to argue with you. But you must remember to stay calm, stay on track, and not get distracted. Being prepared is important.

If you need to take a stand on something or share an idea practice and prepare ahead of time. This will make it easier to present the necessary information. You can do anything if you simply set your mind to it, so make your thoughts, needs, and ideas known.

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Recovery is a difficult process. When entering recovery you may spend some time in an in-patient facility and be very routine and scheduled, but eventually you must get back to the real world. Hopefully when you do you will be better equipped to handle whatever life throws your way, but there are some things that no one can prepare for in life. If you are in recovery and someone passes away then it may be tempting to deal with the pain by going back to your addiction. Death is a stressful occurrence and stress is very likely to lead to relapse if the person is not prepared. If you experience grief and loss during recovery there are some things that can help you cope and stay strong in the recovery process.

Additionally, grief is not limited to death. Any situation that causes you to feel overwhelmed and helpless can result in trauma, even if no physical harm occurs.

When grief and loss does occur in recovery, your subjective emotional experiences determine how you feel about the given event. This can produce many emotions and reactions. The symptoms of traumatic shock are different for everyone, but include shock, disbelief, anger, mood swings, fatigue, fear, muscle tension, insomnia, and many more. Each person will experience this type of trauma differently. Unfortunately this is when many turn back to their addictions in order to escape what is happening. This does not really create an escape, but does dull the pain that is being felt. This is not helpful, especially if you are trying to stay away from your addiction of choice. As part of recovery we must face traumatic events head on in order to be able to move forward. Fortunately, once the trauma is resolved than it no longer holds the same importance it did.

To deal with these traumatic happenings we must explore them. This is often done as part of individual therapy. While the current grief and loss or traumatic events should be the focus as the past needs to stay in the past. Many will also need to work through the trauma that lead up to addiction. There are a few basic tips that can be applied to all situations, but specifics will need to be discussed with your support system and therapist.

One way that all trauma can be helped is by focusing on the positive. Trauma, grief and loss in the past has likely made you stronger and taught you various lessons. Though these were tough lessons to learn, you will never need to relearn them. Take the strength inside you and use it to create long term recovery. Learn to take care of yourself. Part of recovery is putting your needs first. This does not mean you should isolate yourself or be completely selfish, but it does mean that your personal care and well-being must be moved to the forefront. Dealing with trauma can be exhausting so you need to practice good self-care. Take time to relax and unwind each day. Also make sure you are getting some exercise. Trauma often brings on depression and this can be combatted with self-care, rest, talking it out, and if necessary, medication.

No matter what, remember that if you do stumble you can get back up and start again. As long as you do not quit you can end up successful. The key point to remember is that once the trauma is resolved it does not hold the same importance as before. You are free to move on in life and recovery. So don’t let your life’s trauma continue controlling your life, get started today.

CLICK HERE to get a Free Confidential Addiction Rehabilitation Assessment.

This part-three of a three-part series about how to manage cravings.

In parts one and two of this series, we talked about cravings and identifying triggers. Now, let’s talk about what you can do to work through cravings when they happen so you can avoid a relapse.

10 Things You Can Do To Manage A Craving When It Happens

1. Call one of your friends in recovery. Talk to them about what is going on. See if they can meet you for a cup of coffee so you can be in the company of someone you trust until the craving passes.

2. Get involved in a task that takes your mind off the craving. Cleaning house is a great option. When you throw yourself into a project (no matter how big or small), you will get your mind going in a different direction. Before long, you will see that the craving has passed.

3. Turn on some music. That being said, make sure it is music that doesn’t remind you of the past when you were using drugs or alcohol or engaging in your sexual addiction. Listening to the wrong music can actually make your craving worse. Take the time to make a playlist of uplifting music that you associate with recovery and empowerment so you can crank it up when you are having a weak moment. Music is a great way to get your mind off the craving.

4. Go for a brisk walk. Walking is an awesome meditative exercise that gets the endorphin’s going. It will put you out into nature and get you out of your head. Walk for at least thirty minutes. You will work off your nervous energy and before long, you will notice the craving has passed.

5. If you are a spiritual person, pray. Ask the God of your understanding to remove the craving from you. In addition to asking your Higher Power for relief from the craving, give thanks for all that is going good in your life.

6. Make a gratitude list. Take the time to write about all the things in your life that you are grateful for. Really think about it – don’t just rush through it. Remember that you have so many beautiful things in your life that you appreciate. Remind yourself that all of those things could be taken away from you in an instant if you give into that craving.

7. Help someone else. This is a great way to get out of your head and into action. Maybe you have a friend who has been talking about cleaning out an overstuffed closet. Call them up and tell them you are going to come and pitch in. Being of service to someone else will help you push past that craving and make it to the other side.

8. Watch your favorite television show or get into a good movie. Cravings typically don’t last very long. If you turn on the TV and get involved with a good program, by the time it is over, the craving will probably have passed.

9. Keeping a journal is a great way to connect with yourself and do a self-assessment. You can write about how the craving feels and what led up to the craving itself. Journaling helps you realize things about yourself and your life that you might not otherwise see. You may have a greater insight into why you are suddenly experiencing a craving, so you can be mindful of how you can avoid a similar situation in the future.

10. Meditation is a beautiful spiritual practice that can help you find relief from anxiety, depression and – you guessed it – cravings. Though it may be uncomfortable to sit quietly with yourself at first, meditate anyway. Try to mediate for at least thirty minutes. You will experience a sense of calm, tranquility and relaxation by the end of your meditation time and you will find that magically your craving has dissipated.

Remember, cravings are a normal part of the recovery process. You don’t have to give into them. When you work through a craving, you will experience a victory in recovery. The next time you have a craving, it will be much easier to navigate.

CLICK HERE to get a Free Confidential Addiction Rehabilitation Assessment.

This part-two of a three-part series about how to manage cravings.

In part one of this series, we explained what cravings were and highlighted the fact that they are a normal part of the recovery process. In this portion of the series, we will explain triggers in greater detail.

Understanding External Triggers

External triggers are things happening outside of yourself that prompt you to experience a craving. Remember, a craving is an intense, urgent, or abnormal desire or longing to use drugs or alcohol.

Here are some examples of external triggers:

Going into a convenience store and seeing someone buy beer may trigger you to want to drink alcohol.

Driving down a street where you used to score drugs may prompt you to have a craving for that particular drug.

Listening to music that reminds you of a time when you used to use drugs or drink alcohol can trigger you to want to get high or drunk.

Seeing a person you used to drink or drug with can cause a craving.

Money can be a trigger for some people.

These are just a few examples of external triggers that can bring about an intense craving. This is because seeing or hearing certain sights or sounds can trigger the brain to have a memory associated with drugs or alcohol. These memories will cue the brain to want to experience the sensations it once did when it was intoxicated or high on certain drugs.

Internal Triggers Are Powerful Mechanisms

While external triggers are things that happen outside of your body, internal triggers happen inside the body. Internal triggers are emotions, thoughts, memories, and sensations you experience within yourself. They can be just as powerful as external triggers.

Here are some examples of internal triggers:

When you have a memory you have of a time when you had fun while you were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. You might experience a craving.

Depression can trigger you to want to get high or drunk to escape intense feelings of sadness.

Anxiety can motivate you to want to use drugs or alcohol to calm the experience of panic or distress.

Low self-esteem can make you want to get high or drunk so you will feel better about the way you interact with the world.

Internal triggers are like external triggers. They trigger a memory in the mind that brings about a craving. Although it might seem more difficult to avoid internal triggers because they seem to have a mind of their own (literally!). You can change your mind and think about something else when the trigger arises.  

Avoiding Triggers Keeps Cravings At A Minimum

You can experience cravings when you are feeling good because you want to celebrate how well you have been doing. Conversely, you might find that cravings are the most powerful when you are feeling depressed or when something tragic has happened in your life. You might even feel cravings for no particular reason at all. Whatever the situation may be, the best option you have for avoiding a relapse is to avoid triggers as best you can.

By identifying triggers, you can keep cravings at a minimum. For example, if you associate a particular person with getting high or drunk, stay away from that person. If going to the ATM is a trigger for you, only get cash from the bank. You know you will be triggered by beer at a convenience store, pay for your gas at the pump and don’t go inside. If depression is a trigger for you, do what you can to take care of your mental health so that you can ward off depression. When certain memories cause cravings, change your thoughts.

It is better to do what you can to manage your life so that you can avoid cravings at all costs. However, if you do experience a craving. There are certain things you can do to overcome them and keep your recovery in check.

Be sure to read Managing Cravings In Recovery – Part Three to learn how you can overcome cravings when they happen. 

CLICK HERE to get a Free Confidential Addiction Rehabilitation Assessment.