Category: International

Self-efficacy is defined as one’s ability to succeed in specific situations or accomplish a task. One’s sense of self-efficacy can play a huge part on how one approaches goals, challenges, and tasks in life. This simply means that how you think is how you behave. There is only one way to start this process, one step at a time. In recovery this means that you cannot take on all your issues at one time, you must take each day, sometimes each moment at a time. There are some basic steps you can take to build your own self-efficacy while in recovery.

First you must look toward the future, not dwell in the past.

You have probably made many mistakes as part of your addiction. It is likely that you have hurt others, whether intentionally or not. This part of your life cannot be changed, but your future can. If there are people you have hurt in a way that it can be corrected then do so, it will help you move forward, if not then let the past go and start building a new life. As you start looking toward the future you also need to set some measurable goals. These goals need to be something you can meet in a timely manner and something that is important to you and your recovery. You must remember that you have full control of the choices you make and even if setbacks occur when working toward these goals. The biggest obstacle we face in life is ourselves. We must take control of our own minds to be successful, even if our goals seem unreachable at first.

Next you must learn to be positive. As the cliché goes, every cloud has a silver lining. Recovery is difficult and there are many changes that will need to take place. Finding the positive in the changes that need to occur is necessary to stay in recovery. In fact, taking this positive viewpoint can change how you achieve as achievement is for those who never quit, who do not stop working toward their dreams and goals. If you can respond to a difficult or negative situation in a positive manner than the obstacles will become something you can overcome.

So now the question becomes What is your goal, your dream for your life? You should also ask yourself What goals are you willing to set? These questions will give you a good start in working toward your new life. Relating back to recovery, you must believe you can stay clean and sober. This will help further your self-efficacy. To further build your self-efficacy, find someone who has done what you want to do. This can be someone who has been in recovery long term or someone who has overcome similar hardships to meet similar goals. This person will serve as a role model.

All of these steps combined will help you to set small, achievable goals. As you meet these goals self-efficacy will build and larger goals will be possible. You have made the choice to begin the journey into recovery so get started on building yourself up and meeting goals.

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There are times in life when we must speak up for ourselves and what we need. If in active addiction or entering recovery, this is one of those times. You must be willing to ask for help and accept it if offered. Recovery is not something you should undertake alone, the recovery support of others is very important. This is obviously not the only time in life when you may need to speak up, but it is an important one. Recovery usually means emotions are running high as things can seem to all be changing at once. How you speak up during times like these can determine how seriously people take you. The remainder of this article will help you learn to speak up in the right way so your point of view and needs can be heard.

The first step is to not try to force people into seeing want you want them to see, but instead find a way for them to see it. Being forceful with people will turn them off an idea faster than finding a way for them to see it in a better light. Another way to think of this is to be a revolutionary, not a warrior. Even though you may be fighting for your idea or point of view, it is not a good idea to enter any conversation with guns blazing. Think about it would you rather someone ask to borrow your car or tell you they are taking your car no matter what?

Compose your statements appropriately. Use the following ideas. Speak for yourself. Use ‘I” when you state your point of view and suggest action, summarize your backstory to show reasoning, explain what led you to this moment, describe the desired outcome, declare your expectations, and compromise only what you are comfortable with at that time. Each of these will be explained in further detail below.

Speaking for yourself and using I statements is very important. This is your idea so use your own words and speak from the heart. Use statements like ‘I would like to do…’ or ‘I would like to see xyz happen’.  Being yourself will sell your idea and points more quickly than trying to force an idea on someone.

Next summarize your backstory and explain what led you to this moment. If you have made the decision to go into recovery and are sharing this with others, explain what point made you realize this is what you needed. In addition you need to declare your expectations. You need to make it clear both what you are willing to do and what you will expect of others. This should be as clearly thought out as every part of your conversation. Once your idea is presented it is likely that what you have proposed will meet with some hesitation. People may want you to compromise in some areas. Stand up for your ideas, but if there is an area you are willing to compromise on, then know how far you will take that compromise.

This method allows you to stand up for and present your wants, needs, and ideas in a way that people will consider what you are saying and take the idea into consideration. Some people may want to argue with you. But you must remember to stay calm, stay on track, and not get distracted. Being prepared is important.

If you need to take a stand on something or share an idea practice and prepare ahead of time. This will make it easier to present the necessary information. You can do anything if you simply set your mind to it, so make your thoughts, needs, and ideas known.

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Recovery is a difficult process. When entering recovery you may spend some time in an in-patient facility and be very routine and scheduled, but eventually you must get back to the real world. Hopefully when you do you will be better equipped to handle whatever life throws your way, but there are some things that no one can prepare for in life. If you are in recovery and someone passes away then it may be tempting to deal with the pain by going back to your addiction. Death is a stressful occurrence and stress is very likely to lead to relapse if the person is not prepared. If you experience grief and loss during recovery there are some things that can help you cope and stay strong in the recovery process.

Additionally, grief is not limited to death. Any situation that causes you to feel overwhelmed and helpless can result in trauma, even if no physical harm occurs.

When grief and loss does occur in recovery, your subjective emotional experiences determine how you feel about the given event. This can produce many emotions and reactions. The symptoms of traumatic shock are different for everyone, but include shock, disbelief, anger, mood swings, fatigue, fear, muscle tension, insomnia, and many more. Each person will experience this type of trauma differently. Unfortunately this is when many turn back to their addictions in order to escape what is happening. This does not really create an escape, but does dull the pain that is being felt. This is not helpful, especially if you are trying to stay away from your addiction of choice. As part of recovery we must face traumatic events head on in order to be able to move forward. Fortunately, once the trauma is resolved than it no longer holds the same importance it did.

To deal with these traumatic happenings we must explore them. This is often done as part of individual therapy. While the current grief and loss or traumatic events should be the focus as the past needs to stay in the past. Many will also need to work through the trauma that lead up to addiction. There are a few basic tips that can be applied to all situations, but specifics will need to be discussed with your support system and therapist.

One way that all trauma can be helped is by focusing on the positive. Trauma, grief and loss in the past has likely made you stronger and taught you various lessons. Though these were tough lessons to learn, you will never need to relearn them. Take the strength inside you and use it to create long term recovery. Learn to take care of yourself. Part of recovery is putting your needs first. This does not mean you should isolate yourself or be completely selfish, but it does mean that your personal care and well-being must be moved to the forefront. Dealing with trauma can be exhausting so you need to practice good self-care. Take time to relax and unwind each day. Also make sure you are getting some exercise. Trauma often brings on depression and this can be combatted with self-care, rest, talking it out, and if necessary, medication.

No matter what, remember that if you do stumble you can get back up and start again. As long as you do not quit you can end up successful. The key point to remember is that once the trauma is resolved it does not hold the same importance as before. You are free to move on in life and recovery. So don’t let your life’s trauma continue controlling your life, get started today.

CLICK HERE to get a Free Confidential Addiction Rehabilitation Assessment.