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Overcoming Your Fears About Getting Into Recovery.

Fear and Recovery – Many People Avoid Recovery Out Of Fear

Some people avoid the recovery process because they are afraid of what they will learn about themselves if they look within. They worry that if they get to know themselves and delve into their deep and dark places, they will uncover a sleeping monster. This type of thinking is typical of people who have struggled with addiction. 

Most people who become addicted to substances or behaviors didn’t like themselves when they first begin to experiment with the thing they would ultimately become addicted to. They had low self-esteem and often come from abuse, neglect, or dysfunctional families. They sought drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, and other behaviors because they were looking for an escape from themselves.

By the time people get into enough pain and begin to pursue a path of recovery, they REALLY don’t like themselves. This is because of all the wreckage they caused as a result of their addiction. They feel tremendous shame and guilt and don’t want to explore their innermost self because they are afraid they will implode when they realize what they have done. 

Being Afraid of Recovery Is Normal For Addicted People

We want you to know that it is totally normal to feel fear about getting into recovery. People who are addicted usually become accustomed to the lifestyle that accompanies addiction. Although being enslaved to an addiction is a painful experience, after awhile it becomes normal. You know what to expect when you get drunk or high, gamble, have unhealthy sex, watch pornography, shop excessively, or binge eat. It gives you the illusion of control.

Recovery Can Feel Very Uncomfortable At First

When you get into recovery, you feel completely out of control. You are getting acclimated to a new normal. It can feel as if you are free-falling or fumbling your way through the darkness when you stop engaging in addictive behaviors. It is this fear of the unknown that often drives people to return to their addiction. This is because “getting high” is comfortable.

It is true that recovery can be very uncomfortable at first. However; you have to get uncomfortable to get comfortable. You have to start practicing new behaviors while they are uncomfortable until you get comfortable – and YOU WILL get comfortable. The more you exercise good judgment, stay sober, develop healthy habits, and form positive relationships, the better and more comfortable it will feel.

As far as the past goes, you will one day make peace with the mistakes that you have made. You can make amends to the people you have hurt. As you continue to do the next right thing, you will become proud of the new you and be able to look yourself squarely in the eyes. 

In Recovery, There Is Nothing To Fear

Although it might feel scary, there is nothing to fear in recovery. Staying addicted the rest of your life, on the other hand, is definitely something you should be afraid of. Addiction robs you of your freedom, hopes, dreams, time, money, and relationships. Surely you don’t want to walk that path for the rest of your life. 

Get to know yourself and find out who you really are. There is no sleeping monster within you. There is, however; a courageous and fearless part of yourself that has been sleeping. This part of you needs to be awakened. Recovery can do that for you. While you may be apprehensive about getting to know the real you, we think you will be pleasantly surprised when you find out that you are a much more beautiful person than you ever realized.  

CLICK HERE to get a Free Confidential Addiction Rehabilitation Assessment.

This is Part Two of a two-part series on Preventing Suicide

Suicide is Shrouded in Mystery

People end their lives for many different reasons. It may be because of financial stress, difficulties at work, a break-up or divorce, the loss of a child, chronic depression, a mental health disorder, an addiction, or simply because they feel they do not have the necessary tools required to navigate this thing called life.

Many people contemplate suicide for years before they ever go through with it. They may have tried all sorts of different things to ease their own pain but were unsuccessful. Rather than make another attempt at finding happiness, their pain becomes too great and they end their own life. Others commit suicide impulsively because of some life circumstance that seems too overwhelming to overcome.

Whatever the reason someone may have for taking their own life, the truth is we really don’t know what goes through someone’s mind right before they commit suicide. Some people choose to leave a note to explain to the world why they have chosen to leave their life behind. But, even then, their death is still shrouded in mystery. Perhaps if we knew for sure what someone was thinking or feeling before killing themselves, we could put an end to this horrific act once and for all.  

Warning Signs To Look For That May Prevent Suicide 

While we still have a lot to learn about the final act of suicide, there are some things we do know. Mental health professionals around the world have created a go-to list as a guide for looking for suicide warning signs. These are not only warning signs you should look out for when you are dealing with other people, you should beware if you start to manifest any of these symptoms.  

Here they are:

• Extreme, ongoing depression
• Unexplained and chronic sadness
• Withdrawal from important supportive relationships
• No longer caring about things that used to matter
• No motivation to perform daily tasks
• The end of self-care (this includes eating and taking a shower)
• Giving away possessions of value
• Thinking about suicide
• Thinking that death is a viable solution to pain
• No longer paying bills even when the money is available
• Watching movies or listening to music about suicide
• Writing goodbye letters

A Step in the Right Direction for Preventing Suicide

When someone is thinking about killing themselves, what they need more than anything else is hope. They need someone to tell them everything is going to be okay. Even when it seems like it is not going to be. They need to be given a reason to live. They need to be told that things will change. (As the old saying goes, “This too shall pass. All things do.”) They also need someone to help them get help because they will not be motivated to get help for themselves. Someone who is thinking about suicide may need professional help or even medication.

If you are thinking about harming yourself – or you know someone who is – contact us at DARA Thailand. We can help.

We hear people talk about being a high-functioning alcoholic all the time. Some people even identify as being a high-functioning alcoholic. It is this idea that there are those who seem to able to drink excessively while maintaining a pretty manageable life, complete with achievement and successful family lives. I used to see myself this way and I even boasted about it once upon a time.

For many years I enjoyed multiple cocktails at happy hour, wine with dinner, and then book-ended the evening with a few whiskey drinks. Almost every Sunday began with a Bloody Mary or three. And anytime was a good time for beer. During this, I excelled professionally. I had two children. I even managed to take up a running a marathon training schedule. Nothing could stop me, and if anyone ever said anything about my drinking, I just pointed to all the success and achievement as proof that I was better than fine.

However, during all of these years, I knew something was wrong. I knew that I could not imagine going to bed sober, and I knew that was simply not healthy. Every morning of my life was an exercise in clearing the fog from the previous day’s alcohol. And even on those days when I swore I would take a day off from booze, I knew I could not do it. I was controlled by the alcohol and I knew it.

Eventually, my so-called high-functioning abilities began to unravel. I found there were an increasing number of mornings when I could not shake the effects of alcohol and I needed to stay in bed. This cost me time at work. It eventually cost me my job. I started to display the tell-tale signs of tremors in my hands which everyone noticed. Moreover, I just started feeling ill.

I finally topped from my high-functioning perch and when I did, I fell hard. I landed in long-term alcohol treatment. This was one of the best things that ever happened to me, but it came at a tremendous personal cost.

The idea that someone is high-functioning while being completely driven by the need to drink or use drugs is a dangerous myth. That an individual had not experienced serious consequences as the result of their addiction is not a sign that they are healthy. It simply means that serious consequences have not happened YET. One of the main symptoms of a substance abuse disorder is the inability to control your use of a substance. When I was “high-functioning,” I had no control over my alcohol use at all. I was not high-functioning; I just had not run into serious problems yet.

It would seem that the idea or myth of the high-functioning alcoholic is one we could do without. Those who seek treatment and get into recovery prior to suffering serious consequences are fortunate people. We should be putting more emphasis on these kinds of stories rather than touting the alcoholic who is simply “getting away with it,” because the latter will eventually suffer. It is not a useful myth to propagate.   

CLICK HERE to get a Free Confidential Addiction Rehabilitation Assessment.