Category: International

Attitude of Gratitude

Having an Attitude of Gratitude

Articles, Australia, Education, International, Malaysia, Treatment, Understanding Addiction, United Kingdom, United States

Attitude is everything in life. This seems like a broad statement, but it holds a great deal of truth. The same is true in addiction and recovery. Many addicts feel they are different from everyone else in life. They believe that their life has been especially hard or unfair and this allows for the destructive behavior of addiction to continue. This is simply not true. No matter how difficult a situation is, one can choose their attitude. This ability and choice is totally up to the person. This can be very useful in life, but imperative when in recovery.

If attitude is a choice than why not have an attitude of gratitude. Having an attitude of gratitude in recovery can change the way we interact and promote behaviors that are supportive of long term recovery. In order to have this attitude of gratitude you must first shift your mindset. This is something that must be done daily by choosing to see what recovery has opened up, not what addiction has taken away. This can be tough for the addict who may feel like everything was lost during addiction, but the positive spin is that you only have one direction to go, up. Every situation can have positive in it. There are people in jail who get clean. There are addicts who have been at death’s door who get into recovery and create an amazing, productive life.

You simply have to change your attitude to one of gratitude. Take for example an addict that has lost everything to addiction that can move into an apartment during recovery. This person can find the positive in having a consistent roof over their head, not worrying about the next hit, but thinking about what to fix for dinner. The apartment could be small and not well furnished, but it is a step in the right direction. Recovery gives you the opportunity to change the way you think and approach situations if you allow it to do so.

Learn to appreciate the small things by concentrating on what makes life great, not always worrying about the bigger picture. Make an attitude of gratitude journal. A great way to start is by starting one morning and every hour writing down one thing that you are grateful for in life. This can be something simple like a beautiful flower or a good friend. Truly take time to think about what you are grateful for as you move through your day and write it down. Keep this journal handy for days that are not feeling great and refer to the things that made you feel grateful before. It will become easier to find things you are grateful for with practice.

You can also have an attitude of gratitude by doing something for others without expecting anything in return. Take time to help someone with something they need. Fix a meal for a friend, help someone carry in groceries, or volunteer at a local shelter. Whatever you choose you will get the good feelings that come with helping others. This will have the added benefit of building your self esteem and possibly connecting you to others who can be friends. Addiction makes people self absorbed so the humility involved in helping others without expectation will promote good feelings and further the attitude of gratitude.

Finally, be gracious for the changes you are going through in recovery. Embrace the imperfection that is human and keep growing and changing. So this boils down to one thing, change your attitude, and change your life. You are learning about recovery or are in recovery or perhaps you have a loved one with an addiction, no matter the situation you are in control of your attitude and reactions, stay strong.

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personal values in recovery

Finding Personal Values in Recovery

Articles, Australia, Education, International, Malaysia, Treatment, Understanding Addiction, United Kingdom, United States

Everyone has a value system. Values will vary between and among people, families, and even cultures. Personal values are deeply ingrained into a person from the time they are small. Values are intended to help you lay a solid foundation for your life. Unfortunately, addiction can make a person ignore or forget these personal values as the addiction takes over every aspect of life. Once someone enters recovery those values can be rediscovered and used to guide decision toward long term recovery. Values offer that foundation for permanent change if allowed to do so.

Personal values are the principles in life that you can use to find meaning and fulfillment. They can form the base of your identity and if consistently held, your identity will reflect these values. In practical terms this means you need to construct a foundation of practical values from which you can manage the most important aspects of your life. The analogy of a car can be drawn. Values are like the engine in your car, you can survive without them, but it is easier when they are available. In a healthy person, values provide the motivation that drives behavior, the impetus for decision making, and the foundation for feelings and emotions. Without the foundation lives would lack even the most basic sense of significance. Addiction can create that type of meaninglessness.

There are two areas that values fall into, though the actual values will vary for individuals. The areas are universal values and practical values. Universal values are things like self-respect, health, love, and integrity. This doesn’t mean everyone shares the same views on these topics, but that there are values in every culture that are related to these areas. Practical values are more personal. These are the values you use day to day. Though you should know and be aware of your universal values, it is the practical values that must evolve as part of recovery to make your changes real.

In the early stages of recovery it is important to take time to write out your values on both the universal and practical level. Your practical values may grow and change over time, but having a basic list will give you a reference point when you need help in the recovery process.

Perhaps you value honesty above all else. You need to write this out and practice rigorous honesty in all your dealings. If you hold true to your values than they will show in your life. Maybe you want to hold the saying ‘treat others as you would like to be treated’ as a value. If this is true than treat others with respect and kindness if you expect the same in return. Being reliable is another good value to adopt that will be highly beneficial to recovery. Being reliable can build your value system. Help others learn to trust you as you consistently show this trait, and help build self esteem.

You have made the first step toward recovery in not using and getting help. Now you need to take steps to start improving your life. You are a strong person that can do this if you stay focused.

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Self Deception in Addiction and Recovery

Self Deception in Addiction and Recovery

Articles, Australia, International, Malaysia, Treatment, Understanding Addiction, United Kingdom, United States

Self deception is a tricky topic because if you are deceiving yourself you are unlikely to be aware that you are allowing yourself to believe lies. This ties into addiction as you convince yourself, often for a lengthy amount of time, that you do not have a problem with drugs or alcohol or that you are leading a perfectly normal life while using. You may also believe that you can get clean alone without the help of anyone, but this is nearly impossible. Related to self deception is lack of trust. In fact, most people entering recovery say they have a difficult time trusting or have trust issues in general. This is likely true, but the real issue is lack of self trust, more so than not trusting others. Rationalization, justification, and minimization are part and parcel to addiction.

We tend to lie to ourselves and others as part of addiction, but in recovery there is no need for this. There is never a need to lie over healthy behaviors.

Self deception is rarely a conscious process, in fact it can be remembered as a simple acronym DENIAL. DENIAL stands for Don’t Even Know I Am Lying (to myself). This does not mean that learning to trust yourself is impossible, in fact it is quite simple. It requires paying attention to your thoughts and statements at all times. This may be difficult at first, but it does become easier with practice. A few tips will be offered below.

Candor is key in learning to trust yourself and others. Not simple honesty, but rigorous, unrelenting honesty. This means that you must be honest with yourself and others about how you feel and what you have done. This does not give license to be mean, but does mean if you make a mistake or hurt someone you should be honest about it and apologize if needed or if it would not cause further harm. You must also be brutally honest with yourself. If anger has taken control you should be realistic and find a way to deal with that anger, the same goes for depression or even cravings. Seek help when needed. Being honest about and to yourself will help you become a stronger person and learn to trust in your own decisions in time. You will know who you are and what you need and want in life.

Learning to trust yourself will also allow you room to learn to trust others, as well as them learning to trust you once again. Additionally, as you grow and improve you will be able to help others in their journey to long term recovery. This can become a purpose that will create a stronger drive in you to stay in recovery. So if you are new to recovery know that it will get easier with time, practice, and patience. If you have been in recovery awhile make sure you are being honest with yourself in all aspects. No one is perfect, you are allowed bad days, just do not let them take over.

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emotions in recovery

Controlling Emotions in Recovery

Articles, Australia, International, Malaysia, Treatment, Understanding Addiction, United Kingdom, United States

Emotions are a normal part of life, but addiction can mess with emotions. Addiction can dull many emotions while exaggerating others, but doing so falsely. Once you are in recovery you must relearn how to control these emotions so they do not damage your long term recovery. Many who are just starting out in recovery find feelings that they have not had for many years. Some may feel angry or depressed or simply overwhelmed at the undertaking of recovery. These emotions must be acknowledged, dealt with, and controlled as part of overall recovery. There may also be positive emotions associated with recovery, but even positive emotions, when very strong, can be problematic. The real issue is that drugs and alcohol are usually used to dull extreme feelings and when these feelings arise it could cause relapse or in the least intense cravings.

Emotion  is defined as a complex state of feeling that results in physical and psychological changes that influence thought and behavior. Though feelings and emotion are often used interchangeably, they are not the same thing. A feeling can be an emotional state, but a single emotion can lead to more than one feeling. The first few months of recovery can be an emotional rollercoaster as the former means of dealing with emotions is no longer an option. There are many common emotions in recovery and they include fear, anger, resentment, disappointment, and loneliness. This is especially true for early recovery. Strong emotions typically mean that someone is not thinking rationally which makes relapse much more likely. However, the strong emotions you experience can be controlled by learning appropriate coping strategies.

Knowing the different coping strategies that are available is important, but more importantly is knowing which ones work for you when strong emotions take over. Some of the most common strategies are journaling, emotional sobriety, and mindful meditation. Each of these will be briefly described. Journaling is an excellent way to get emotions out without going overboard or making poor decisions with those emotions. Journaling allows you to write out your feelings, draw pictures, and just scribble if needed. Putting the emotions on paper is cathartic and can help you calm yourself simply in the process of writing. If the emotions are truly strong it may even help to rip up the page and toss it as a way of getting rid of those negative emotions.

Emotional sobriety is also an effective coping strategy. It is a defense mechanism that allows you to get in touch with emotions, without allowing those emotions to take over and cause you to fall back into addiction. Emotional sobriety is just as important as general sobriety in recovery. If you cannot learn to control your emotions then relapse is much more likely.

The final recommendation from this article is mindful meditation. Mindful meditation is intense focus on one specific thing or emotion in order to detract from other intense feelings. Many people choose to focus on breathing or relaxing one muscle in the body at a time starting with your toes and moving up. This intense focus allows other emotions to calm and fade as you focus on the present moment only. This is a way that emotions can be controlled and then dealt with after you have become calmer.

Dealing with emotions in recovery can be overwhelming, but knowing they will be strong offers a chance to practice dealing with those emotions before an extreme feeling arises. Try different coping techniques to see which works best for you before a crisis hits. You are strong enough to control yourself, no matter what.

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Simplify Your Life

How To Simplify Your Life

Alternative Treatment, Articles, Education, International, Malaysia, Treatment, Understanding Addiction, United Kingdom, United States
Five Ways To Simplify Your Life

We live a technologically driven age where we are overwhelmed with information. Very busy people inundated with tasks. We have work duties, family obligations, personal responsibilities, relationships to manage, and we have to learn how to do recovery and take care of our mental and emotional health.  It can all feel very overwhelming. Learning to simplify your life goes a long way in bringing about serenity and manageability.

Here are 5 ways to simplify your life:
  1. Take it one day at a time. This might seem cliche and you’ve probably heard it a million times, but there is some powerful truth spoken here. When you project into the future and start worrying about what might happen tomorrow or what could happen next month, you deprive yourself of the simplicity of living in the now. The present moment is all you have. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. Deal with what you have to do today. This helps to simplify things.
  1. Declutter your personal space. In your addiction, things became unmanageable. You likely neglected your personal space and allowed it to become overrun with all sorts of messes. Take the time to get rid of old papers, throw away trash, donate things you don’t need or use, and clean up. When your life is overwhelmed with the messes of your past, it becomes almost impossible to live a simplified lifestyle.
  1. Let go of toxic relationships. If you associate with friends or family members who are always inviting drama into your life, you need to kindly disconnect from these people. There are people who thrive on chaos and they have a special way of forcing everyone around them to experience the chaos they enjoy. One of the best ways to simplify your life is to only surround yourself with people who bring you peace, encouragement, and support.
  1. Learn the art of saying no. Quite often, you are bombarded with requests from people who need or want something from you. By continually saying yes to every request that comes your way, you overload your life with tasks and responsibilities that don’t belong to you. Remember, you have to take care of yourself first. Only say yes to things that will enrich your life and bring you peace.
  1. Connect with nature. There is something peaceful and beautiful about getting outside and appreciating the great outdoors. Stop and smell the flowers. Go for a nature walk. Visit a local park and feed the ducks. There is a lot to be said about slowing down and taking the time to appreciate the simplicity of nature.

Remember, recovery is really a simple endeavor, although it feels very complicated. The reality is that all you have to do is refrain from engaging your addiction – whatever it may be. When life feels complicated, we get stressed out and feel overwhelmed. This is uncomfortable. If you will take the five simple suggestions offered in this list, you will improve your quality of life and experience more joy, peace, and comfort.

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