Category: Australia

Being codependent Leads To Enabling. Which Is Devastating To An Addict Or Alcoholic. This is the second part of our series on Codependency.

When an addict or alcoholic’s family members and loved ones engage in codependent behavior, that behavior gives way to enabling. As it relates to substance abuse and codependency, when you enable someone, you are providing them with a means to continue to use alcohol or drugs. Your actions allow the addiction to continue, rather than putting it to a stop to it. Blurred boundary lines make it easy for the addicted person to continue to lie, manipulate, and continue drinking or drugging or engaging in abusive behaviors.

When you become codependent with a chemically dependent person, you may think you are helping them when you bail them out of the situations they have gotten themselves into, but you are actually hurting them. By not holding them accountable and forcing them to deal with the consequences they have created for themselves, you are playing an active role in the addictive cycle. 

Understanding How Enabling Shows Up In Codependent Relationships

Here are some examples of enabling behaviors:  

• After a 25-year-old man has spent all his money on heroin, his mother pays his rent for him.

• When a woman is involved in an alcohol-related hit-and-run accident, her husband lies to the police and tells them she has been home all night.

• A teen is arrested for possession of methamphetamine’s. His dad bails him out of jail instead of allowing him to sit there.

• After being beaten by her husband in a drunken rage, a wife lies to her friends about her bruises and says she was in a car accident.

How To Put An End To Codependent Enabling

When someone you care about is addicted to drugs or alcohol, it is very easy to slip into a codependent pattern and enable their behavior. Here are 5 ways to stop the madness:

1. Recognize the situation for what it is. You are engaged in codependency and you have been enabling the addicted person in your life. Make the decision today that you are going to put a stop to it.

2. Rally support. Talk to other people in the addict or alcoholic’s life and agree that, together, you are no longer going to engage in enabling behaviors. There is power in numbers. Consider staging an intervention to confront the addicted person to motivate them to go to treatment.

3. Set boundaries. Decide that you are no longer going to lie for the addicted person, pay for their mistakes, or cover their tracks. Tell them so. Stick to what you say. Don’t waver in your commitment.

4. Start taking care of yourself and show yourself some loving kindness. In the process of codependency, you lose yourself and you stop taking care of yourself. Start putting yourself first again.  

5. Get some resources about codependency so you can learn more about the condition and find out how you can engage in healthy behavior patterns. The book “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie is a great choice.

Remember, if you are engaged in a codependent cycle with an addict or alcoholic. You are enabling their behavior and you are not taking care of yourself. You simply must break the cycle if you hope to find healing for yourself and the addicted person.

CLICK HERE to get a Free Confidential Addiction Rehabilitation Assessment.

LGBTQ Culture and Addiction – Being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or trans gendered if often a tough lifestyle. Some believe it is a choice. Some believe it is a way in which you are born. Regardless of your feelings, if you are reading this it is likely that both LGBT culture and addiction is a part of your life in some manner. In case you are reading for someone else or just becoming more educated in the topic. Lesbians are women who are attracted to other women. Gay is often a term used collectively for someone seeking same sex relationships. More commonly though it is specific to men seeking other men. Bisexuals date and sleep with both genders. Trans gendered individuals feel that they are the opposite sex of what they are born. Perhaps you have someone who is questioning their sexuality and you are concerned about the LGBTQ culture.

Perhaps you are questioning your own sexuality and are worried about the lifestyle you are entering. Regardless of what brought you to this point there are some aspects of LGBTQ culture that are known but not discussed.

LGBTQ Culture – Drugs & Alcohol

LGBTQ culture often revolves around the use of legal and illegal drugs. Some believe this to help people move into a lifestyle that is considered unnatural or to be open to exploring new opportunities. Some feel this is because of a need to escape the often violent reactions and discrimination from the general population to being LGBTQ. In fact, the majority of those who use in the LGBTQ community cope with discrimination and prejudice through drug and alcohol abuse. It can be difficult to know you are discriminated against simply because of who you choose to share a bed with in life. Additionally, many in the LGBTQ community abuse drugs to deal with health problems, both mental and physical. Competent doctors are not always available to meet the specific needs of this community.

No matter the reason for this LGBTQ culture, it can be one that quickly leads to drug and alcohol addiction. When a person is addicted and it is considered part of the overall lifestyle, seeking help can be an issue.

LGBTQ Specialist Rehab Facility

Anyone, regardless of sexuality, who is an addict can struggle to ask for help or even realize help is needed. While some people can be confronted and will seek treatment once confronted, many must come to this decision on their own. Pushing someone into treatment before they are truly committed will likely result in failure and heartbreak. While no two people are exactly the same. Trying to force someone into treatment is not typically a great first step. If you know someone who is ready for help or who you would like to offer information to start the process, seek a treatment center that is LGBTQ specific for the best results.

Find a center like Dara Rehab in Thailand, that specializes in meeting the needs of those facing LGBTQ issues. Dara also meets any other needs the person may have. Best of luck in changing the life of yourself or someone you care about.

CLICK HERE to get a Free Confidential Addiction Rehabilitation Assessment.

For Family Members Of Addicts And Alcoholics – Understanding Codependency: Part One

This is part-one of a two-part series about codependency and how it affects families of addicts and alcoholics.

The Complex Condition Of Codependency Explained

Codependency is very common among family members who have a loved one with an addiction problem. The dictionary definition of co-dependency is, “excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner. Typically a partner who requires support due to an illness or addiction.” However; this simplistic definition does not do an adequate job of explaining the complex nature of this emotional and behavioral condition.

If you have someone in your life who has a substance abuse problem. It’s very easy to fall into a co-dependent cycle and become enmeshed with that person. Enmeshment is what happens when boundary lines get blurred. It becomes difficult to determine where you start and the other person stops.

When you take on the role of constant caretaker at the expense of your own health and well-being, you are engaging in co-dependent behavior. Codependency is characterized by an extreme need to make sacrifices to satisfy the other person’s needs. It is also identified when your emotions are so entangled with the addicted person, you become reliant upon them to define how you are feeling.

Family Members Of Addicts And Alcoholics Often Develops Among People Who Have An Addicted Person In The Family

Here’s how co-dependent relationships develop among people who love an alcoholic or an addict:

• A chemically dependent person inevitably creates messes he or she cannot clean up without help. This means people who care about this person feel a sense of obligation to run around and clean up those messes.

• Someone with an addiction problem can easily become financially dependent because they spend on their money on drugs or alcohol. Someone with codependency issues will take responsibility for making sure their bills get paid.

• Addiction takes center stage in family dynamics. It runs the show. Family members and people who care about an addict or alcoholic often tip-toe around the addiction. This allows the addiction to dominate day-to-day living.

• People with a drug or alcohol problem can become emotionally, verbally, or physically abusive. A co-dependent person will internalize this abuse and take it on. They will tell themselves it is their fault and begin to change themselves in every way possible to make the abuse stop. They will fail to realize they are not the problem, but that the abusive/addicted person is.

• Those who have a substance abuse problem will often demonstrate embarrassing behavior that brings shame to the family. Someone with co-dependency issues will take it upon themselves to apologize for their family member’s conduct and make excuses for their outbursts and outlandish antics.

• When a person has co-dependency issues and they have an addict or alcoholic in they family, they will tell lies to cover for them. A good example is the wife who calls her husband’s job to report that he is sick when he is actually hungover. Another example is the concerned mother who lies to other family members to cover up the fact that her son is using meth.

Be sure to read For Family Members Of Addicts And Alcoholics – Understanding Codependency: Part Two.

CLICK HERE to get a Free Confidential Addiction Rehabilitation Assessment.